


Sitting in a Tree

by ThumbnailsAndTentacles



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: F/F, First Kiss, Fluff, Mabcifica, Matchmaking, Nonsense, sitting in a tree, throwaway writing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-13
Updated: 2017-01-13
Packaged: 2018-09-17 04:06:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9303455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThumbnailsAndTentacles/pseuds/ThumbnailsAndTentacles
Summary: Mabel gives Pacifica some dating advice.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I have a friend who absolutely loves any Dipper/Pacifica pairing. Naturally, I wrote Mabel/Pacifica to mess with her. I figured you all might like it better.

“Never?”  



“Never.”  



“Not even _once?_ ”  



“Does the word ‘never’ mean something else in California?”  



The two girls sat in the branch of a high pine, baking in the Oregon sun. The heat cooked Gravity Falls to a sluggish standstill, and even the birds were too lazy to sing. They’d been out far too long, and it was now too late: Mabel didn’t think she’d be able to move without collapsing into a slurry puddle.  



She had ditched her sweaters entirely and gone sleeveless today. Fashion had to give way to practicality. Unfortunately, that was a rule Pacifica was still learning. If anyone else had been dumb enough to wear long cashmere sleeves to go tree-climbing in the dog days of summer, Mabel would have laughed at them. Watching Pacifica struggle with these things was endearing, in a way. Like watching a puppy try to climb stairs for the first time.  



She lay back against the tree trunk while watching Pacifica scratch herself uncomfortably. Her legs were still scuffed from the climb up here - Mabel had told her that those shoes weren’t sensible - and the hat was long gone. _No big,_ Mabel thought. _We have a couple of hours to find it before Dippingsauce gets back._  



Mabel had to give her brother credit: he made this way too easy. All she had to do was suggest that maybe she’d spotted the manotaurs playing a game of Unintentionally Intimate Football on the far side of the valley, and she and Paz could pick up some girl time for the rest of the afternoon without interruptions. She loved her brother, but there were some things she had to do by herself.  



“Are you telling me,” she repeated, “that Pacifica Northwest, the richest girl in town-”  



Pacifica rolled her eyes. “Stop that.”  



Now she’d asked for it. Mabel turned up the charm. “The most popular, most famous, most sought-after girl in _aaaaallll_ of Gravity Falls-”  



“You know I hate that.”  



“-has never been on a date?” This was almost unbelievably perfect. Truly, someone was looking out for Mabel. “Not once-”  



“Yeah, no duh! My parents kept me in a freaking cage for most of my life.” She held up a hand before Mabel could speak. “Not an actual cage. You know what I mean.”  



“Was it _Frozen_ -type kind of thing?”  



“I don’t know what that is, but sure.” She folded her arms across her chest. “Whatever, Mabel. Yeah, I’ve never gone on a date. Like it really matters.”  



Mabel couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “Girl, you’re almost seventeen years old! Of course it matters!”  



“If you sing that stupid _Sound of Music_ song at me again-”  



“No, but remind me to do that later.” Mabel was always down to turn her life into a musical, whether other people wanted to participate or not. “You’re telling me no guy has ever even asked you out?”  



“Uh, yeah, some of them asked. I said no.” She caught Mabel’s smirk. “I mean it! There was, um… oh, there was a guy at the ski lodge last winter! He kept trying to show me the red diamond slopes.” She turned her nose up at the very memory and tossed her hair back over her shoulder. “As if I didn’t know that the red diamond slope is where everyone goes to make out.”  



“That’s it?” Mabel asked, shaking her head. “I’m disappointed in you, Paz. One skeezy guy at a ski lodge?”  



“Hey, it was an exclusive ski lodge! I’d like to see _your_ family try and get in.” No sooner had the words left her mouth then Pacifica physically cringed. “Jeez, sorry. Habit.”  



Mabel just waved it aside. When you hung out with Pacifica, a certain amount of secondhand snob was inevitable. And she was trying to get better. “Not the point. Never a cute boy?”  



“Some of them were cute!”  



“And you said no because…?”  



Pacifica blushed harder than an anime character. “What’s it matter to you?”  



Mabel sat up on the tree branch, facing her. “For your information, princess Pacifica, you are the blank space.” She gave it a second to sink in. “Get it? Like the song-”  



“No.”  



“My matchmaking chart, Pacifica! I have everybody in Gravity Falls planned out, from Blubs and Durland all the way down to Robbie and Tammy’s baby!”  



Pacifica looked aghast. “She hasn’t even had it yet!”  



“Not important! Pacifica, I have shipped every single person in this town into a long, fulfilling relationship that would make Tumblr weep! Every single person but _you_.”  



“So this is what you do all day?” For a moment, Mabel saw the old haughty Pacifica smirk she’d missed. “So who’d you match your brother with?”  



“I have _many_ irons in the fire for Dippingsauce, FYI,” Mabel informed her in equally snooty tones. “Only the most beautiful girls with the highest tolerance for total neurotics may approach my bro.”  



“And your uncle?”  



“Grunkle, and Lazy Susan’s not dead yet. We’re getting off-subject. Pacifica, what kind of friend would I be if I didn’t match you up with some wonderful guy?”  



Pacifica pretended to think about it. “One who respects boundaries?”  



“The _not very good kind_.” She stood up on the branch and posed, hands on her hips. The tree wobbled beneath her. “Pacifica Northwest, I promise, I will make you the most dateable person you could ever - whoa, this is slippery. Help me down.”  



Pacifica gave her a hand sitting back down on the branch. “So what, you want to give me lessons? You want to be the Glinda to my Elphaba?”  



Mabel’s mouth fell open. “Was that-”  



Pacifica rolled her eyes like she didn’t care. “I _do_ watch musicals sometimes, you know.”  



An honest-to-God _Wicked_ reference. _Be still my heart._ “Okay, that’s a start. Now. How do you talk to a guy?”  



She had never seen Pacifica look so dumbfounded. “What am I supposed to _say_ to that? Like, I could do it if I was on the spot-”  



“Do it.”  



“Do you see a guy anywhere, Mabel?”  



“I’ll be your guy.” She dropped her voice an octave. “Hey, baby. Pretend I’m the guy from the ski lodge.”  



“He had a BO problem.”  



“Pretend I’m a much hotter guy from the ski lodge.”  



For a moment, she could swear she almost got a giggle. That was all the proof Mabel needed that Pacifica wasn’t just humoring her. “Okay. Hey.”  



“Hey, baby. I’m rich. I hear you’re rich too. You want to go behind the red triangle slope and make out a whole bunch?”  



“Mabel, have _you_ ever talked to a guy?”  



“Well, Dipstick is nowhere in sight, so I’m the best you’ve got. And yes,” she informed Pacifica, “I am a _connoisseur_ of love. I’ve made out with many fine… fish… dudes.”  



Pacifica just stared. “What?”  



“Hey, look at that, subject change. Okay, let me show you.” She shifted positions on the branch so she was sitting alongside Pacifica. “The first thing you want to do is put your hand on his knee.”  



“Why?”  



“That’s like code. Dating is like being a spy: you have to communicate through code at first. Putting your hand on his knee is the international date sign for ‘I want to hold hands with you.’ It drives guys crazy.”  



“Do guys have like a knee fetish or something?”  



“Just trust me on this.”  



Tentatively, Pacifica reached out and grabbed ahold of Mabel’s knee. “There you go,” Mabel coached. “Ow. Not tight. Don’t stick your nails into his leg. Here, and he will… just kind of… slip his hand under here… and boom, holding hands. That’s like, one-quarter base.”  



“This is really awkward.”  



“It’s only awkward if you make it awkward.” She had very nice hands, Mabel noticed. Thin fingers, probably for piano or violin. Knowing her parents, maybe both. A pretty good grip, too. _She could play the game if she really wanted to._ “The next thing you want to do is just kind of… _leeeean_ up on him.”  



“Do I lean on you or-”  



“I’m the guy. _Leeeean_ up on me. Damn, girl that’s what I’m talking about. You got the hair over the shoulder and everything. Are you sure you’ve never done this before?”  



“Of course not.” Pacifica was shades of red even Mabel had never seen before. _If only I could paint that color._ “I guess I… must just have a good teacher.”  



Mabel could feel her grin widening. “Pacifica that is literally the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.”  



“And I’m already regretting it. Can I stop leaning now? My neck hurts.”  



“Sure, because the next step is the arm.” Pacifica detatched herself from Mabel’s shoulder. “Now, in rom-coms, it’s usually the guy who does this. But the one thing I know is that boys _love_ confidence. So don’t be afraid to put your arm around his shoulder.”  



“Isn’t that kind of…” Pacifica fumbled for a word. “Weird?”  



“Course not. You’re already holding hands.”  



“But like, how do you explain it? It’s just-”  
“ _Paz._ You’re overthinking it. You just do it, and if it feels good, you keep it up. Don’t ask why.” Pacifica still looked unsold. “Okay, if you’re really not sure, you can use a line. But that’s like, master-level stuff.”  



“A line?”  



“Sure. A one-liner. They’re like, advanced techniques. Let me show you.” She adopted her ski-slope-guy voice again. “Hey, baby.”  



“Oh God.”  



“If you were a parrot - wait, crap, I messed it up. Try again. Hey, baby. If you were a pirate, would you have a parrot on _this_ shoulder-” Mabel slipped her arm around Pacifica’s back and laid her hand on the shoulder of her cashmere blouse, “-or _this_ one?”  



For a moment, nothing. Then Pacifica doubled over and let out the loudest, ugliest snort of laughter Mabel thought she had ever heard. She sounded like a farm animal. Mabel held on to her shaking shoulders and she buckled in the middle and laughed until she had no more air in her lungs.  



“That,” she snorted, trying to breathe. “That was… the _dumbest_ thing I think I’ve ever heard.”  



“It worked, didn’t it?”  



It was another minute before Pacifica calmed down enough to carry on. “Okay,” she said, recovering her composure. “So I hold his hand like this, and then I _leeeean_ into him-” She dropped her head on Mabel’s shoulder, “Like this. And then I let him put his arm around me. Now what?”  



“Now comes the most important part, Pacifica. First. Base.”  



“No.”  



Mabel’s train of thought derailed. “Do what now?”  



“Mabel, I can’t do that.” She lifted her head from Mabel’s shoulders and looked worriedly into her eyes. “I can’t get pregnant. I’m not even seventeen yet, and my parents said if I bring home a baby-”  



“Paz, first base is _kissing._ You’re not going to get pregnant by-” She caught sight of the look on her friend’s face and stopped dead. Her cheeks suddenly felt hot. “Oh my God. You got me, didn’t you?”  



“Yes. I did.” With a catlike smirk, she laid her head back down. “Alright, continue.”  



“I cannot believe... ” Mabel shook her head. “Alright, so first base. It’s super simple. Just look him in the eye, pull him in close, and go for it.”  



“That seems… kind of intense.” Pacifica bit her lip. “What if I tried it another way?”  



“Bro. This is formula. No, don’t - fine. Just stop with the puppy eyes. How would you do it?”  



“Okay. So, hand on knee-” Mabel took it. “Then _leeean._ Then arm-” And to Mabel’s surprise she wrapped her arm around Mabel’s shoulder, nestling the crook of her elbow on Mabel’s neck. “Is that right?  



Maybe they shouldn’t have done this in the hot sun. Or so high up in a tree. For whatever reason, Mabel was starting to feel dizzy. As she leaned back, she was surprised to find Pacifica drawing her weight against her, until Mabel was the one _leeeaning_ up against Pacifica, her face tucked against the side of Paz’s shoulder. She could feel the touch of cashmere against her face.  



“Well done, padawan,” was the most intelligent thing she managed to say. “So?”  



“And now look into the eyes and…” Pacifica bit her lip in a way that could not be anything but intentional. “Would you mind if I kissed you?”  



Mabel very much wanted to respond. It just felt as though her tongue and her jaw and stopped working. She was suddenly very conscious of how sweaty she was, how she hadn’t washed this top in two days, how the fabric was sticking to her. How she was probably ruining Pacifica’s nice clothes. How close Pacifica was holding her in spite of that. How Pacifica’s arm draped across her shoulder, pulling her in, holding her steady on the swaying branch.  



How Mabel didn’t want her to let go.  



“Nope,” she managed, suddenly feeling somewhat swept off her feet. “I wouldn’t mind at all.”


End file.
